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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

I Confess: I don't want to seperate my twins in school

This is a little more controversial of a topic than I usually get into on this little blog, but I've had a lot of schooling discussions with people lately, other twin parents have asked me, and I've read about this issue since before I even had twins so I thought I would share MY opinion on it. I'm going to say though, this is OUR family and MY opinion. Different things work for different people, different twins, I could even see my twins being boy/boy or girl/girl and I might take a different stance. I'm not writing this to cause a tizzy, just to share my thoughts.


Confession time: I don't want to separate the twins when it's time for them to go to school.

Hold up, they're not even in school yet. And want to get crazy and get a double confession? Me, the mom who was against home schooling, is considering homeschooling. Mostly because the preschools I've visited have all insisted that I will need to separate the twins.

Now before, you get all crazy on me, let me tell you my reasoning.

First of all, we live in Southern California. Have you been to Southern California? It's expensive here! I get the weather is nice, but man, the prices! Do you have $1000/month to send your child to preschool? Maybe? If you really cut back and budget and have a cheap mortgage, but now $2000? Because that's the price of 2 kids at a preschool I visited a few weeks ago. I about died. It's funny because they keep sending me emails and I don't want to say that they're crazy to think I'd spent that kinda money to send my kids there. I want my kids to have a good education, but...they're 2. Will going to a ridiculously expensive daycare that they call a preschool, probably to jack prices up, make my children that more advanced in school? I doubt it.

Second, I'm a stay at home mom. It has been my JOB to take care of these little miracles that are my children. I am saving us all the daycare money so I can give them a loving, nurturing home and raise my children myself. This was a sacrifice, decision, family game plan that we came up with many moons ago and we're sticking to it.

Third, family is very important to us. I think it's just as important for my kids to learn from me, bond as a family, and interact with each other as it is for them to play and learn with other kids.

Fourth, there are other ways, even free ways, I can socialize and educate my kids. There's a preschool program at the library we've done, story times every time at various spots, classes at the YMCA and free classes for toddlers and babies on base. Not to mention various playdates and daily social interaction with the neighborhood kids that the twins get every day. I think we do a good job at being involved and being social, while still making sure family time is a priority.

What number am I on? Well, there are free homeschooling curriculum online. We've been following one for a few weeks and while I don't think it's making my kids geniuses, I think it's helping them learn to sit still for awhile, focus on a task, and try to learn something new. We get books at the library every week after therapy to go with our weekly theme and they have had a lot of fun picking out books, reading new books, and learning new things. Paying for some craft supplies and taking a few evenings a week to prep lessons is a lot more rewarding for me. I think it's really special to see my kids learning and interacting, not just with me, but with each other.

Lastly, I think it's important for the twins to stay together and continue to bond together. A day will come when they split up, and maybe it's only because I have boy/girl twins that I'm not too worried about them becoming overly attached to each other, but when boys have coodies and girls are yucky, they will probably hate each other. Until then, I'd like them to be together. They have a unique bond, a bond I really have loved seeing as they've grown up, and I want that to grow and flourish as much as their own individual likes and dislikes. We will move someday, and they will have to make new friends, but they will always have each other. Again, the boy/girl thing makes me worry less about them getting too attached and not growing as individuals, but it also worries me that if they drift apart, they will lose their special bond and I don't want that to happen. Maybe when they start kindergarten separating them will seem like a good plan, but at 2 or 3, I just don't think it's necessary yet.

 I mean, how sweet are they?

So who's coming with pitchforks telling me that my kids need to be separate? Honestly, things could change, my opinions on the matter might change as circumstances change, but for now, I think it's best that they stay together and I will probably keep it that way, and dare I say, homeschool (gassp!) them to keep them together.

What do you think about twins being separated in school? How would you feel if there were twins together in your son/daughter's classroom?


  1. I taught 2nd grade and had twins in my classroom two years in a row. They did really well! The set of boy twins did play and socialize together more than the girl/boy twin. They seemed to have their own friends but it was cute to watch them. They looked out for each other.

  2. I have to say I like the fact that in PA it is a law that you get to choose if the twins stay together or seperate! love that i get the choice. I find that my set act differently apart than they do together in preschool/daycare (our daycare is like a preschool all the way up). We have yet to decide on what we will do in the end, but I'm glad i can talk to the teachers at preschool and hear how they do in groups with and without each other. Funny enough my mean devil Jacob is very timid if his sister isn't around to bully..I don't know if that's good or bad. Addison could care less I think either way, lol. But since she does all the talking for Jake, it may be good to seperate them (see I go back and forth). Each daycare is different but i'm thankful for one that we can try out both - they have teams in the class and they can be on the same team or seperate. currently they are together. Agreed at the expense and if you can swing it, enjoy them! I feel like they will never get that 3 month holiday I got when I was a kid - and I could have a very nice sports car if they stayed home by the time they are out.