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Monday, January 13, 2014

Embarassing Parenting 101

My twins have tons of energy and personality. I love it. But sometimes, they do terrible, awful, no good, very bad things. Not on purpose. In their minds, it seems to make sense. Even to me, it usually makes some logical sense. But to an innocent bystander, we all just look like we're a big bag of crazy.

Example: We were walking around a local neighborhood that is famous for going Christmas crazy. Fun right? Well about .2 seconds into the experience, Jackson starts whining about how "It hurt!" Being the overly articulate child that he is, he wouldn't explain WHAT hurt. Seeing no immediate signs of emergency room level trauma , we continued on our way. After listening to the whining, I thought maybe he'd be happy to get out of the stroller and walk for a bit. He walked for a minute or 2 and then proceeded to start waddling like a penguin. Oh! You're diaper is bugging you! He was in cloth, he is mildly potty trained, so I took his diaper off. Could this be done gracefully in the middle of the sidewalk in a neighborhood with many onlookers? No, he fought me every step of the way, at one point his butt in the air as a couple walked past us. Super.

Oh the fun stops there right? No. Jackson walked along, much happier to have his diaper off. I made him stop in front of a house to take a picture. He proceeded to grab himself and do his "potty dance". We tried to take a picture, just as the owner of the house was walking into his house, and Jackson started to pee right on the street. Yep. My kid. The guy who owned the house just laughed, I'm not sure he really realized he was peeing his pants, but I quickly scooped him up, pee pants and all, and rushed him down the street a few houses to where (hopefully) no one had seen him naked or peeing in the middle of the sidewalk. Yep. That was a win right there.

 I guess Tom will have the discussion with him later about boys and peeing in strange places. Maybe when he understands a bit more English? We'll work on that. Maybe next year he'll at least duck behind a tree or something.

Don't worry, we got the picture.
For. The. Win.

Odds of my son hating me forever as a teenager are sky high right now. Worth it.

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