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Sunday, March 15, 2015

The Ridiculous

Seriously, this is about something so ridiculous, I can't believe I'm even blogging about it.
Do you know what I find ridiculous?

Mommy wars.

If you're a mom and haven't seen this Similac ad yet, allow me to help you out from that rock you're under.

But seriously, the mommy wars are out of control. The judging it out of control. If you don't have kids yet, prepare yourself. You think it won't happen to you? It will. Think you can scroll through your facebook without wanting to punch someone? It's unlikely. Think the old ladies at church won't tell you to button up your child's sweater or put socks on your baby (who continuously will kick them off and try to eat them)? They will.

Recently I saw a post from another mommy blogger. She just opened up the mom wars like it was her job. Ok, as a blogger, it's ok to stir up controversy. It's ok to share your opinion. But to, in just a few words, alienate, insult and put yourself up on the "top mommy" pedastal, now that takes crazy skill.
Respect for her skill, but seriously, you HAD to go there?

This comment seems pretty innocent at first. I don't have the direct quote so I am going to paraphrase, but it said, their baby was born (yay!), she was recovering (obviously) and to respect their family's privacy while they bond with their new baby and she heals from her all natural birth.

Simple, right? See what she did there? Throwing the words "all natural" in to that comment took it from, yay congrat on your baby! to instant mommy wars. Should you rest more since you had an "all natural" birth? Do moms who choose to use drugs, induce labor, or heaven forbid, have a c-section, not earn the right to time to bond with their baby and heal? I read a few comments. Most people were nice. There were a few people who took jabs at the all natural thing. I honestly, felt a bit insulted. It could be because I had just read a few minutes earlier about "What I wish I had known before my c section" and the terrors of a c-section. It just all seemed to come at me at once, and quite honestly, I was offended. Not enough to say anything in a public forum besides congrats, but,for the women who were justifying their non-natural births, I could empathize.

And then I thought...really? This has gotten that out of control? That a woman can't just say, hey I just had a freakin baby, leave me the heck alone for a few days while I spend countless hours tending to my newborn and feeling like crap for whichever way I gave birth (I've only done it 1 way but none of them sound very pleasant). Nope, she has to pull the all natural card and suddenly flip it into a "I'm better than you." bashing session. Over childbirth. One of the most basic, natural things in a woman's life. Sure, things have changed a lot. Some for the better, some debatably for the worse. Social media has changed things a lot. I can now, from a basic picture of you and your newborn after birth, know pretty easily how you gave birth, whether I care or not. But people aren't always using social media to their share joyful news as much as they are to toot their own horns.

Congrats, you had an all natural birth. I had a c-section. I'm going to have another one. It's just the facts. I'm not here to debate it. I'm not here to tell you why I chose my OB and why we went down the c-section path. I'm not here to tell you why I had my first 2 c-sections. I will tell you, no matter how you give birth, you will have a beautiful little baby to cuddle with for many, many, many endless nights to come ;) and you will be hurting no matter how that baby comes out of you. Accept it. Appreciate it. Don't forget to rest up afterwards. It's a doozy.


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